We came in search of burgers. We were nearly bested.

We came in search of burgers. We were nearly bested.

Sign at Burger King said no photography allowed. Fry dude is appalled.

Sign at Burger King said no photography allowed. Fry dude is appalled.

From Tucker: Lunch at Tampa International Airport. And yes, they do sell beer there.

From Tucker: Lunch at Tampa International Airport. And yes, they do sell beer there.

Holy Chipotle!

Holy Chipotle!

They never lie down.

They never lie down.

The battlefield was littered with the bodies of my enemies.

The battlefield was littered with the bodies of my enemies.

In the interest of being slightly more healthy, I give you Panera. We’ll return to your regularly scheduled grease later this week.

In the interest of being slightly more healthy, I give you Panera. We’ll return to your regularly scheduled grease later this week.

You know what those look like? Two coffees.

You know what those look like? Two coffees.

McDonald’s tablescape

McDonald’s tablescape

Burger King pile.

Burger King pile.